Have you ever noticed a cacophony of voices inside your head? Criticizing, doubting, and often holding you back from your true potential?
If your answer is yes, you're not alone. And while these internal dialogues can feel relentless, they also hold a key to profound self-discovery and freedom.
Inspired by the wisdom of 7th Century Zen master Seng-tsan, and shared by Tara Brach, I've been contemplating the idea that freedom is being "without anxiety about imperfection."
Consider that for a moment: Freedom is “without anxiety about imperfection.”
The voices that run rampant usually stake their energy on their perception of your imperfection, driven by a sometimes quiet-- other times megaphone📣-in-your-ear- fear of inadequacy or unworthiness.
Freedom from that anxiety of imperfection is not about silencing our inner critics, but rather learning to coexist with, and even at times leveraging them in a way that diminishes their control over us.
Designing a new Dynamic 🖊
Imagine for a moment the possibility of a new relationship with these voices where you listen to them with understanding and gentle curiosity rather than resistance.
To be honest, for me at times, it has felt like I am drowning in their outpour.
For some - or rather many - of us, the tendency can be to numb, distract and disconnect; anything to guard against hearing the soft hum of these incessant voices. But when we can learn to lean in, to listen in a radical way, with compassion for ourselves and curiosity, we weaken their power and begin to find a form of liberation.
In recent weeks I have been playing with a concept that has been transformative. It's built on everything I've used and taught to date. For the sake of your eyes👀, and time 🕗, I am going to start with the foundations this strategy relies upon, and then I will share more about this process both in Sunday's Calm and Connect AND our next newsletter.
So let's start with the foundations, because without this, you cannot leverage the rest of the strategy.
Foundation I 🌱
Pausing. While pausing may seem overly simplistic, when we try to ignore, fight or even “shut out,” the voices, they instead turn the faucets on full force, leaking constant contamination into the water of our mind.
The result? In addition to a low hum of suffocation, we cannot see or perceive clearly. We become more reactive, tense and resistant to external stimuli (people, comments, interactions) because everything reinforces their narrative.
Pausing and simply acknowledging their presence is essential if we want to shut off the valve and start to decontaminate the water.
It also enables us to take a step back and see the voices for what they are: thoughts driven by fear, wanting us to be happy, but wildly off base in how to make that happen, manufacturing misery in the process.
As we approach our next Calm and Connect event, I highly encourage you to reflect on your own inner dialogue. How do these voices shape your reality?
How might your life change if you viewed them through a lens of compassion and curiosity?
And then start with those pauses.
I am excited to dig in further to Part II of this conversation with you, both later this month - and through rich conversation at our next Calm & Connect!
If you haven't already, sign up below!
