A July 4th Miracle: How we Survived a Hit & Run in the Colorado Mountains

I knew that if I left my body, it might take time to return. So I refused.

And instead of disengaging, and disassociating from what had just unfolded, (and can be an understandable reaction ), I asked that we turn off the audiobook, and all other “distractions” so that I could actually be with the immensity of the moment. And as I continued to drive our nearly totaled car until we could find cell service, I did what I knew was critical: I focused on my breath, feeling my feet on the pedals, and feeling my hands on the steering wheel. I had to be fully present if we were going to make it another hour to an area of cell service, to call the cops and report what had just unfolded…

It was scary; it was shocking. On a bridge, on Highway 131 in the mountains of Colorado, he could not be avoided. Speeding around a bend, he swerved right into our lane, as though heading straight for us. Transpiring in seconds, I slowed as smoothly as possible, given the motorcyclist behind us, and veered to the right, conscious not to hit bridge’s railing.

Somehow, by the grace of an incredible miracle, instead of a head-on collision, he slammed into my driver’s side before speeding off. Though the car sustained substantial physical damage, we walked away physically unharmed, extraordinarily grateful for our lives, and the life of the motorcyclist’s behind us.

While our bodies suffered no physical damage, it’s critical to acknowledge that such an incident can wreak havoc on the physical and emotional body. In times of danger, the brain shoots out extreme dosages of adrenaline, cortisol, and other endorphins that can continue to flood the system for days.

Whether speaking to incidental trauma or trauma that can arise from long term events, including CoVid, trauma can inflict perpetual distress on the body and to the brain if not properly attended to: if one does not adequately permit themselves to feel “what is.” Many fear that in granting themselves permission to feel all related sensations and emotions, they will be overwhelmed and unable to cope. So instead, the reflex is to push aside, minimize, and even deny our feelings.

However, as we do that, there is a consequence to pay. So much neuro-based research is uncovering just how much damage it can cause, long term.*

Instead, what is requisite is that we be with our experience: not the story we make up, but rather the facts and the physical sensations present. We acknowledge all facets. And while I am a massive proponent of reframing situations, seeing the gift (and in this situation, I found many) that, however, does not mean that we don’t acknowledge what else is present.

A process I neglected the first 30 years of my life, I carried residual trauma from a hit & crash at 18 (my car flipped 3 times) and other extra-ordinary life events. Now it is non-negotiable.

I get to spend my days holding space for and facilitating incredible life and leadership transformation. However, one of the biggest lessons I have learned is that if I do not hold space for the trauma, heartbreak, or crazy life events, there is no way I can fully be there for clients — never mind encourage and enable them to do the same for themselves.

The initial resistance can be that it feels gratuitous, selfish, unnecessary, or even daunting, but the fact is, it is requisite. It is possible to be grateful and to process the trauma. We are complex human beings with complex systems, and the two are not mutually exclusive.

Only this week, a client finally acknowledged the impact CoVid has had on his life, family, and business. In an effort to “stay positive,” and pretend like business was normal, unsuspecting tension built up both in his body and mind. However, in the process of acknowledging himself, to be with what is, tension melted, insight and new awareness and possibilities arose.

The pure act of acknowledging, and the radical permission to be with it all, is one of the most significant, healing gifts we can give ourselves, and ultimately those with whom we interact.

So, I emphatically request, if you are ever in a like-and-kind situation, or experience an extra-ordinary life event, please do not disengage from your body. It can take years to return. Allow yourself to process, to be with it. I certainly recommend a professional, but at the very least — rather than the story of what happened, let yourself be with whatever sensations are in your body without making them wrong. Don’t push them away; rather acknowledge them as if they were a guest. Know that they will leave if you let them pass through.

And please. Don’t ever drink and drive.

To watch the Video which adds another level and shares how Meditation played a huge part in saving our lives, click here:

*To learn more, The Body Keeps Score by Bessel A. van der Kolk and The Body Bears the Burden by Robert Scaer are great resources

Why and How you Can Start Meditating, Now (Especially if you think you can’t!)

Image by Keegan Houser on Unsplash

Over the course of my time teaching Meditation and Mindfulness, I cannot count the number of times I have heard “it’s just not for me… I can’t quiet my mind enough to meditate,” or, “I can’t, I am bad at it.” Does that resonate?

I get it. I, too, was a culprit of an incessant mind. I prided myself in my NYC days for being called an Octopus, seemingly capable of attending to eight tasks at once. I, too, initially feared that in quieting my mind, I would lose that “powerful edge.” However, experience taught me that Meditation did not inhibit my ability to think quickly, but instead increased my ability to respond thoughtfully.

And the more I gleaned the benefits, over time I adapted a witty retort I once heard: “claiming your mind is too busy to meditate, is like saying you are too dirty to take a shower.”*

While true, it’s taken years and a more profound understanding to finally grasp: Meditation is NOT about clearing the mind. The mind wanders. It is what it does.

Meditation, instead, is about habituating the mind to a chosen point of focus, again, and again, and again. Whether the point of focus is your breath, your body, a guided meditation, the sounds around you, a tennis ball…(the list can go on), each time the mind wanders, and you return, you are rewiring your brain and building new neural muscles.

Research shows that with only 8-weeks, the practice of Mindfulness and Meditation rewires and builds areas of the brain related to memory, learning, and empathy and rewires areas related to stress.

As we develop the skill to habituate the mind back to an object of focus, we not only increase our ability to focus, but we also discover a new control over our mind. No longer do we feel like our mind has a life of its own we cannot regulate, especially when the fears or anxieties run rampant.

Ultimately, we access greater internal equanimity, greater peace of mind, and even a sharper mind. In truth, Meditation bolsters nearly every leadership development and personal development skill out there. Who doesn’t want that?

So then how do we meditate? Especially when the misconception is that Meditation is about clearing the mind?

One of the most effective approaches to Meditation is to see it as a 4-stage process, with the third and fourth stages being equally critical to stage one.

1. First, you are present: you are focused on the breath, your body, the guided Meditation: a specific, chosen object of focus.

2. Second, your mind wanders to what’s going on in the world, to your endless task list, an argument, something else you “should be” doing at that moment. The brain LOVES to be productive, so it will likely reach for anything that seems “more productive” at the moment, including deciding what you are having for your next meal.

3. Third, a light bulb illuminates in the recesses of your mind, and you realize, “I am no longer present.” Often, a little voice articulates, or rather harshly admonishes, “I am no longer “meditating!”’

Pausing here, this is PART of Meditation. This moment is one of the most potent, brilliant moments in the process. The moment that you have noticed your mind is elsewhere is HUGE: how often are you aware of where your mind is? I love the James Joyce astute quote, “Mr. Duffy lived a short distance from his body.” This brilliant, light bulb moment of awareness is PART of Meditation, and it enables the next critical stage.

4. In the fourth and final stage, you “unhook” from that thought, no matter how tempting or consuming, and consciously bring it back to your initial, intended point of focus.

Meditation is just as much being in the present moment, as it is noticing where your mind wandered to, and then “unhooking” from that thought.

Everyone cycles through these four stages, be it a novice meditator or the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama merely has more practice, notices the wandering more readily, and refocuses more rapidly.

Ultimately, the practice is like going to the gym. Some days will be a tougher “work out” others will feel stronger, and yet, every time you cycle through those four stages, it’s like picking up a weight. Each time, your mind gets stronger.

*Originally shared by Eoin Finn as “claiming you are too inflexible to do yoga is like saying you are too dirty to take a shower.”

** Originally written for and Published by Ellevate Network

Freedom from the Noise

One of my all-time favorite quotes is from Michael Singer.

A truth I have been teaching for years, he boils it down into a candid sentence — a sentence which means more now than ever before.

“You are not the voice of the mind; you are just the one that hears it.”

I’ll repeat that. 

You are not the voice of the mind. You are just the one that hears it.

When that fully sinks in, it’s perhaps one of the most liberating, empowering truths to embrace. It changes lives. But at first, for many, myself included, it can kick up confusion, and resistance: if it’s not me, then who is it? What do I have, little minions, running around in my head?

Yes. In a matter of speaking. You do.

It’s your mother, father, society, friends, an old teacher/boss, or the little obstinate and fearful child inside you, wanting attention.

Right now, it’s also likely the news, social media, the funny-not-so-funny because it stirs up anxiety-memes. But it’s not YOU.

YOU are so much more than that voice. The truth is, we have quite a few voices. They are characters, minions, gremlins, mind-monkeys — whatever you choose to call them — living in our heads; they often compel us into anxious states and actions which we later wish we could reverse.

As you read this, I’ m curious, what’s the internal dialogue, right now? Is it a monologue? A party between two or more? Perhaps one of them is hovering over your shoulder, shaking an admonishing finger, yelling, “this is ridiculous!” Maybe a minion is in the recesses of the mind, pretending to read the newspaper, but peers over the edges, sliding in cutting commentary.

In the past, that voice has held you back from things you’ve wanted to “protect you,” saving you from looking “ridiculous.” For others, there is a rebellious teenager or insurgent influence who thrives on immediate gratification, undermining what we actually want.

Right now, there is likely a cacophony of voices: one aching for certainty, another for immediate gratification, and yet another, doing it’s best to protect. That last one? For many, it has gone off the deep end, freaking out about all the “what ifs,” paralyzing the mind. These voices want to protect you, but don’t quite go about it in an empowering and truthful way. Those voices crave control. Of anything. But what we don’t realize is that the only thing to control, is their power — the power we give to the voices.

How do we manage that power?

First: Notice it. Noticing it is more than half the journey. You might take it a step further and get curious about it: What’s the pitch and tone of the voice? What does it’s face look like? You’ll be surprised by what you discover.

Second, you acknowledge it. You might think ignoring it is the solution, but it’s not. It will only get louder like a child you ignore until it’s screaming, kicking, and throwing a fit so loudly you can’t hear anything else.

Third, you figure out what it wants. Underneath the noise, what is the desire, and that’s where the kernel of truth lies.

Finally, you choose. You choose how you want to respond.

It’s a muscle: it gets stronger, every time you use it.

In the words of The Dhammapada,

“Your worst enemy cannot harm you

As much as your own thoughts, unguarded.

But once Mastered,

No one can help you as much”

And as Elizabeth Gilbert advises, “you need to learn how to select your thoughts, just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life…, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”

The voices will never go away, but you can choose to hear them, recognize them, and using Elizabeth Gilbert’s analogy, you can select another pair of pants. Though you might be accustomed to grabbing the old pair, I promise, the new pants will fit far better.

So instead of succumbing to the fearmongering voices, because that’s all you are hearing, how might you use your thoughts to help you? What do you want to hear and think instead? What energy or intention do you want to bring into the moment or day?

Ask yourself. 

And then shift the dialogue accordingly.

Say it, feel into it, and with time it will calm your nervous system, and those thoughts and voices will be as valid as the old ones once felt.

Remember, you are not the voice of the mind. You are just the one that hears it.

Attack the Coronavirus: the Unexpected Powerful Offense

Image from the CDC

As I type, perched at my desk, I am wildly aware that we all sit in different cities around the world, holding different perspectives and varying levels of fear regarding the most recent global pandemic, the Coronavirus.

Much hangs in the balance as business trips and conferences get canceled, markets fluctuate, and employees and students are advised to stay at home; truth be told, the instability could end quickly, or not.

What is frightening is not necessarily the virus itself, as in many ways it is relatable to the flu, but what has the globe in an anxious grip, is the unknown and the resulting volatility it engenders.

Consequentially, our limbic (flight/flight/freeze) systems kick into gear, intending to protect. It’s there for a good reason, but when it is no longer the helpful passenger that points out the potholes or the merging lanes ahead, but aggressively grabs hold of the steering wheel, well, that’s a recipe for disastrous pileups on the interstate. In the end, it’s not just your car that you don’t have control over, but it’s thousands of other drivers on the road, experiencing the same thing.

So what do we do?

Most fundamentally, we need to stay calm. I’ll get to “how,” but let’s shed light on some critical whys you might not be aware of.

Irrespective of whether this virus comes to you, consistent stress inflames the body. Stress, attributed by some experts as responsible for up to 90% of illness and disease, floods the body with hormones during hyper-stressed states. As a result, white blood cells decrease, and rate of infection skyrockets.

If we expend our energy and our focus on stressors instead of creative solutions, we effectively lower our body’s ability to fight. AND we all know what happens to sports teams that spend exhaustive games staying solely in the defense, instead of the offense: it is not likely they win the championship.

Forgive Me: Two Simple Barrier-Breaking Words. Here’s Why: (it’s not what you’d expect)

Forgive me, as I may not relay this brilliant, heartfelt lesson in its fullest form, though I promise to try:

Yesterday, at the start of class, I heard the following,

“When we are in shame, fear, anger, or frustration, there is no space for love.

Isn’t that what we are all after, after all, love? To be and feel love?

The antidote is forgiveness.

When we forgive, for the thing from either moments or years ago, we open space within ourselves to be fuller expressions of ourselves, to love more fully.”

Those potent words reverberated through my body as I realized, to be fully present, to receive the gifts of the class, to fully participate, I needed to forgive myself:

Diving into Why

In the last few blogs we've defined personal development, and then clarified why it's requisite to fall in love with ourselves to truly do the work of personal development - really getting to know ourselves. If you missed those blogs or videos, feel free to watch here.  But why does it all this matter? Why do we need to do the work in the first place? 

Simply,
because we have kept ourselves small, robbing ourselves and the world of our inherent beauty and potential. We've unknowingly taken on fears and beliefs of others, and let those externals define who we are and dictate how we operate in life. 
 
When we are born, it is as if we are driving a glass car and our innate light shines brilliantly - easily perceived by all. In those moments we even remind others of their own brightness. Possibilities are endless and captivating. And through these clear vessels, we view and perceive others through their love, with ease.
 
However, as we drive these metaphorical cars through life, we pick up buzzards and crap that sticks to - and hardens on- the windshields. Some from experience, much of it transferred by parents, society,  as they defensively drive in fear. We start to view life and others, not as it is, but through the lens of crud.

When as we do the work, we chip away at the crud and with each flake, we see more clearly. There is more space for our light to shine out and a greater ability to allow others to shine their light in. We see fears just as they are, and we respond to the bright human beneath their own layer of gunk.  Once again, are connected innumerable possibilities for ourselves and others. 

I fight for a world where every human shines.  A world where everyone accesses their greatest potential.  Imagine that world.

It begins with you.

Until next time, I send you light. 
Always.

Rachel Tenenbaum

Diving Deeper

Last blog, I shared a perhaps provocative definition for personal development. If you missed it, watch here or scroll below.  This week we dive into why it is that fundamental and foundational to doing the work, is actively and courageously falling in love with yourself. It is not easy AND it is requisite. Click here to watch, or read below :).

I recently had a dear friend ask a bit incredulously, "don't we need to get to know ourselves before we can fall in love with ourselves?" It is a wholly valid question. 

My answer? 

No.

Let me explain.

When a baby is born, and you hold that precious human in your arms for the very first time - you are already in love with it. You do not wait to see how it poops, how little it cries, or what it's personality is - you unconditionally love that being, likely before it is even born. It is precisely that love that has you wipe its tush no matter how smelly, how messy it's diaper is MULTIPLE times a day. Your love enables you to be with all its crap (quite literally). It is that love that gets you out of bed no matter how exhausted you are. It does not say, "I am too tired and I do not have time for you," or "maybe later."

It is that love that stares in amazement as that child wobbly stands for the first time... and then falls flat on its tush. It's that love which says, "How incredible! You've got it!" And watches as the child tries another 50 or 100 times to get up before it walks, and then runs through the house and life. We do not say, "you idiot, you fell on your ass again?? See whose watching. Everyoneee. You best just stay there. Why try, again?"

It is that love, which as the child grows older and makes mistakes says, "you made a mistake, and that's ok. My love is not conditional on your making mistakes. Let's look at what happened... what made you do that? This is how we learn, this is how we grow."

We innately know and research shows, it is that love, be it from a parent, teacher or another, which enables our children to reach the greatest heights of their potential. Shame, disgust, ridicule -  will not get them there. 

But yet, that is how we treat ourselves.

IF we wait to get to know ourselves before falling in love with ourselves - we will find all the evidence in the world for why we are not worth loving. As we get to know ourselves and our tendencies - we'll easily say, "see that's why you aren't worth loving! Told you!!"  Each mistake and every moment of being (i.e. cranky) when we are tired, irritated or lost, will magnify for us, how undeserving we are. We will be looking through dirty, tinted, crud filled lenses of inadequacy, thus obscuring the true view.

The one thing we want the most is to be loved - but we refuse to love ourselves. It's the one thing we want most, not (just) from others, but its the one thing we most want from ourselves - whether we've realized it yet or not.

However, if we come from a place where we wholly love ourselves, we are more willing to take our own hands and look into the dark, scary places, and do the hard work. And when we explore from a place of unconditional love - we are more willing to dive in because we aren't looking for ways to prove that we are "unworthy." 

Imagine a world where everyone not only wants the best for themselves but also loves themselves enough to go into the dark, hard places, knowing that as they move through, they reach greater heights. Imagine a world where everyone is accessing their greatest potential. That's a world I am fighting for. 

How about you?

It starts with you.

With love and abundant gratitude,
Rachel 

A Conscious Choice

What is Personal Development??

I was recently asked to give a talk on the importance of this huge topic. But before we could dive into how important it is, we needed to define it. I wanted to use the BEST definition out there (if it’s been done, no need to fix) but in scouring the internet, I came up short, which gave me the opportunity to lean into my work and experience and create one. It is that, which I get to share with you here.  Click here to watch the Youtube Video or read below. I hope it stimulates and maybe even challenges some thinking. Let’s start a conversation!

Personal Development:(n, v) the active process of getting to know ourselves, (self-awareness) of choosing to fall in love with ourselves so that we can live with intention, connected to ourselves and the world around us. It's the courageous process of looking at and then removing the myriad of self-imposed constraints we put on ourselves. It's the heralding of aspects which make us unique and 1 in 8 billion. It's the courage to go into the dark places knowing that through those doorways is the access to light.

It is not a set of skills and tools we acquire. It is not something we add to our resume. It's the process by which we make the unconscious  (or that which we are oblivious to) conscious (something we are aware of) and through that awareness can then make choices we consciously choose, rather than being run by choices run by our unconscious.

Perhaps not something previously considered (or even hard to digest), I'll follow up with why "falling in love with ourselves" is a non-negotiable, fundamental, base-line, part of the process. Until then,  email and get in touch - or share this with others!

With love (and gratitude for allowing me to share!)
Rachel

Becoming a Cartographer

This past month, in training with Ann Betz (neuroscience expert in the coaching field), she referred to our brains as predictability machines. The brain likes to know, to predict, what is to come.
 
As predictability machines, when things “go awry,” when life happens and when the road we travel does not lead us where we expect, or better yet, turns into a mud pit, it’s actually easier for our brain to struggle against what is, than to see the open, often brightly lit, pathway off to the side. The brain would rather stay in the muddy trenches than navigate into the unknown.
 
Scott M. Peck said, “the biggest problem of map-making is not that we have to start from scratch, but that if our maps are to be accurate we have to continually revise them...”
 
As we continue to dive into 2018 and plug away at our goals, shooting like Wayne G. (last blog) you may have visions of how the year will unfold.   
 
That plan, that vision, that roadmap is fundamental to creation. However, there isn’t “one-way” to traverse our maps.
 
When I reflect back on 2017, I had a vision and I knew the routes which would “get me there.” On various occasions I was so close, I could literally taste the adventure down avenue ahead, but then suddenly, as if through thin air, closed for repairs, or roadblock warnings emerged.
 
In those moments, once I got over the frustration, confusion, or “threat” to my journey; once I re-assessed, I soon realized there were other exciting, perhaps more growth-inducing pathways open for the taking.
 
If we are willing to use our erasers, to redraw the lines and pathways, when we look back at those revised, amended plans, we might be shocked at its beauty.
 
So when roadblocks occur, have faith, be open, and keep walking. And know that as you do, it might mean redrawing the lines… every best cartographer had to.

With love,

Rachel

Shooting Like Wayne G.

Wayne Gretzky famously stated, “you miss 100% of the shots you never take.”
 
The shot I share with you here (in my humble opinion) is breathtaking. Wandering the beach without a phone in hand, this moment was so viscerally powerful, I knew I would be remised not to capture and share it.
 
I ran a list of options in my head: I can go back to get my phone (too far, this moment is about this light and the sun setting); I can teleport my phone over, damn, haven’t mastered that skill yet; I caaaaan ask those boys serendipitously struggling with their bike yards away if I can borrow a phone…..
 
Immediately the response from the depths of my brain was a resounding “uh, Rachel, you are going to look like a weirdo… they are going to think you are crazy. Maybe they’ll let you take the shot, but you will just embarrass yourself and they will never send it.”
 
I asked anyways.
You miss 100% of the shots you never take.
 
It's a photo I now cherish for its beauty and what it represents. And I get to share it with you.
 
As a kid, I astounded others by what I built: I had crazy tenacity. At sixteen my sister and I started a jewelry business even when others said, “you are too young and don’t have enough experience.” A year later, college shopping in Boston, I was stopped dead in my tracks by someone who recognized my necklace design: she had purchased one of our pieces in Florida.
 
Somehow, that fearlessness got shoved down and in many ways, took a Sleeping-Beauty nap.
 
This year, I commit to noticing those “don’t try… it won’t work” moments and I commit to asking anyways. I commit to going after my goals and dreams with a reborn tenacity.
 
What would your life be like if you went after every goal and dream? What if you had your childhood dauntlessness?
 
My wish for you is to go after every shot. To live like Wayne Gretzky. Because as Fyodor Dostoevsky reflected, “when I look back on my past and think how much time I wasted on nothing, how much time has been lost in futilities, errors, laziness, incapacity to live; how little I appreciated it, how many times I sinned against my heart and soul – then my heart bleeds. Life is a gift, life is happiness, every minute can be an eternity of happiness.”
 
Life is a gift. Life is happiness. Every minute can be an eternity of happiness. If you let it.
 
With love,
Rachel
 

The Year is Yours

I am always intrigued by the shift and evolving energy as we close one chapter, one year, and open a new one. Nothing really changes. It’s a new minute, a new hour. AND that minute, that hour, holds so much potential and joy.
 
Think about it.
 
As the new year rolled in and as the clock struck 00:00, there was a collective, worldwide, palpable sense of glee and possibility. It is as though we were each handed the best present in the world and that present is opportunity, potential, anything you could hope and dream.
 
Now, as we reflect nearly two weeks later, we can still taste the newness, the excitement of that gift. Resolutions and commitments are set.
 
The question is, how do we maintain that joy, year-round? How do we not resign it to a mere, “January feeling”?
 
Truth is, it is all a fabrication of our mind and every moment is filled with potential and opportunity, if we allow ourselves to be open to it. If we allow ourselves to see it.
 
What new perspective will you stand in and fight to hold? It takes work to maintain new perspectives and not let ourselves slip, as old habits and ways of thinking are well-built neuro-muscles.   

Why, for you, does 2018 hold so much promise? What’s the value gained by those new commitments?
 
As one of my favorite sayings goes, “nothing changes if nothing changes.”
 
With love,
Rachel

A Master Sticks to her Tools

"A master sticks to her tools."

With such a simple phrase, Lao-Tzu reminds us that masters stick to - and are masterful because they stick with, and harness -- their strengths.

But how does one become a master?

Malcolm Gladwell would suggest that it takes time, it takes 10,000 hours.

A wild number, it indeed takes hours and dedication. Often, I watch students attempt to master a variety of skills all at once, spreading themselves thin.

So, this week, I pose a simple question. Rather than attempting to give 100% across the board to a whole slew of new tools, what would it be to choose one tool or one skill you would like to master? Focus your energy there for an entire week or two, and notice how it transforms.

Every time I cut back, every time I dial back on my massive to-do and seriously focus on one or two skills I want to harness, the growth is astronomical, and I get to where I want to be exponentially faster.

But this isn’t about me. This is about you. So, choose, try it. See what makes the difference.

With love,

Rachel

Challenge is

We are reared to overcome challenges. The challenge to crawl, later walk, to speak, to succeed in the classroom. As years pass by we are faced with those that present themselves in our professional and personal lives.  For some of us, there is the era where we take on the challenge of redefining who we are and what we want.  

Though these periods often involve some level struggle, as Brendon Burchard (a trailblazer in the motivational and leadership fields) states, “challenge is the pathway to engagement and progress in our lives.”

An indubitable truth, he continues with a significant follow up:

“Not all challenges are created equal. Some make us feel alive, engage, connected and fulfilled. Others simply overwhelm. Knowing the difference as you set bigger and bolder challenges for yourself is critical for your sanity, success, and satisfaction.”

Without a doubt, as I reflect on particular challenges which lie ahead, there is an underlying hummm - a fear of failure - but there is also an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and peace knowing what I might feel and what it might look like when I get there.

And, as you can suppose, there are those which merely feel like an uphill battle; they drain energy and in no way fulfill. So, for now, I lay those aside. Perhaps later they hold more significant meaning and merit. 

What about you?

What lies in front of you right now? What challenges, though they may be intimidating, find you engaged, alive and connected? And which ones pull you out of that dynamic space? Where are you forcing yourself into something, merely because “you should”?

I invite you to consider the challenges in your life, at this moment.

The ones you’ve chosen. The ones you’ve opted into.

Those that leave you drained with little sense of accomplishment, drop.

Focus your energy on a challenge that will enable you to feel alive and connected. That's why we are here, isn't it?

With love,

Rachel

A New Form of Strength

Years ago, even months ago, I envisioned inner strength to be a harsh form of resilience. Perhaps a brick wall that would protect me from danger, from pain, from agony of any sort.

I believed if I had just built better walls, the pain of specific life events would not have crippled. A car crash would not have left me frozen. Cutting, violent words would not have eviscerated my heart. A break up would not have felt as though I lost limbs.

Otherwise debilitating moments in recent weeks, found me experiencing a new kind of strength. I felt the pain, the fear and the rage, but hours later, I felt at peace and ease. I was wildly aware that the pain of the moment had passed and no longer held on to the proverbial boxing gloves for protection.

The reality in that moment, literally found me watching butterflies appearing out of nowhere, feeling light and tenseless.

While the butterflies were real, they also represent a powerful truth. Whether in business or life, if you can allow yourself the experience of the moment and then step into the next with ease and presence, its far more likely hours do not bleed into days, weeks or even years. I realized as I experienced that form of strength a second time in two weeks, my old perception of strength, while in some ways may protect, actuality weakens.

The intention is to not build walls - to be free and feel in the moment to what is actually occurring. It's to not live in the future or past, to not live in the 'maybes' or 'what ifs', but to live and breath in that exact moment; to allow ease.

A tenant of yoga states that yoga is “a strong, easy pose.” For the first time, I grasp the significance of those words. So long as I am rooted, so long as my strength is grounded, I can remain at ease; I can even experience a certain buoyancy. I do not need walls. I do not need glass panels. I do not need rigidity to protect me. I can open to the moments of life – the ups and the downs – and trust that no matter what, I will be ok.

Mind-body connection can be foreign for many, however, it is a phenomenal, tangible place to explore this concept of strength with ease.

In any moment that requires physical fortitude – whether it’s your fitness routine or holding a heavy load, where do you tense up automatically? Where do you recruit unnecessary muscles – perhaps in your face, or shoulders and neck? Strength does not mean tensing up; it does not mean creating a wall with your body - in fact, that's a great way to stress or pull a muscle. Rooted strength merely engages what is needed and leaves the rest – at rest.

With love,

Rachel

Coming Home

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When we’ve lost – stability, structure, a certain sense of knowing or comfort – what can we come back to? 

I was reminded recently that our bodies, our hearts, our being- that’s home.

The doormat saying, 'home is where the heart is,' is wildly accurate, perhaps without intending its double entendre.  'Home' is quite literally where the heart is - within. You alone are the first brick and the whole house.

The more we connect to ourselves, even in (and especially in) the midst of an external storm, the more we find ease and peace wherever we are.

So how?

How do you connect to yourself?

Each time something devastating or disrupting has happened in my life, my yoga practice has been that place where I begin to come home; where I am able to find the connection to peace, once again. And recently, it's not just my mat, but also my meditation practice. For some of my clients, it's painting, it's dance, it's writing, cooking, creating and more.

While not all of my readers have the same practices, what is yours? In what way do you feel connected to yourself?  How do – or can – you come home to yourself?  Where do you start and in what way can your "something" be the landscape under which your build your home?

With love,

Rachel 

Rebuilding, one brick at a time

Four years ago, I experienced one of the greatest tragedies of my life. With one call, I lost my father. I had seen him only a week before, and he had, while in the hospital, been doing much better, and was expected to be released later that week. 
 
Though the infections had drastically cleared, cancer still riddled his body making it very weak: his heart gave out. 
 
That tragedy paralyzed me. I had no desire to return to work, I grieved for what I had lost and mostly sorrowed over a future I would no longer have with my father.
 
It took some time, however, when I was finally able to move through the pain, I had a new perspective on life, on what mattered most, on how I wanted to live my life.
 
 Renowned author and spiritual guide, Paulo Coehlo teaches that what tragedy gives us, is the opportunity to rebuild our lives.
 
The last few weeks have devastated multiple areas around the world. Whether your home suffered, or your heart felt the enormity, the trauma, all the effects are widespread.
 
With this, how do we rebuild? It can seem impossible, but we must. And as we do, what do we build? What do we create?
 
We start small. We lay one mental brick, buy one plant, start with one room. Soon with time, we've rebuilt our (physical or mental) homes, and quite possibly, it's even better than before.


With Love,
Rachel

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Houston Strong

For the last couple of weeks, I've been struggling with an underlying sense of guilt. Guilt that I was not hit worse by Harvey or guilt that I was not doing "more" to help. I did what I could when I could, but somehow guilt was the unwanted friend, sitting on my shoulder. 

I knew and even believed, cognitively, a greater truth: had we all been crippled, it would be near impossible to mobilize and create structures to rebuild selves and homes. The fortune of some supports those in need.

Yesterday, I found myself frustrated once again for not doing more. I felt blinded and stuck by my powerlessness. But I also knew that was just one perspective.  At that moment, I forgave myself for my fortune. I moved out of guilt and in that moment, a whole new realization occurred. What was missing was a meaningful way (to me) in which I could take action: coaching. 

If we harness what we connect to, we can make Houston strong, again. For those who love to feed and nourish, that's baking dozens of cookies or bagging lunches; for cleaners, it clearing, sorting and organizing; for connectors, it facilitating unforeseen, powerful partnerships (helicopter, supplies = drops).

When we sit in feelings that don't support us, less is possible. For me, when I connected to what I felt, acknowledged it, then acknowledged what was real, I was able to truly move beyond: the vision which came through was compelling and beautiful. 

I am offering complimentary sessions to those in need for the coming weeks. If you have been impacted by Harvey, or know of someone in need of support, please contact me. I am reachable at 832-974-0417. Let me support you (whether your home, and/or your heart took a beating).  The more support we accept, the stronger we stand, together. 

With so much love,
Rachel

The Voice of the Mind

“There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind, you are the one who hears it.”

— Michael Singer

When I first read that statement, it seemed preposterous. What are we, if not our minds? 

What I've learned (and what studies continue to prove) is that the voice of our mind is rather a myriad of influencers.  It's the voice of our parents, the teacher we most feared, the adamant or stubborn child who still lives within, the rebellious teenager, a boss, a mentor or even society itself. 

However, we identify with that voice as our own.  

We criticize ourselves as others might, however taking that criticism often to the utmost extreme.  We do so, feeding that perspective that the critical or belittling words are "in our best interest," "keeping us safe," "strong," or in some way protecting us.  

All in the name of self-improvement. 

The irony? We don't actually grow. We don't see drastic improvement or find genuine happiness inside those words and criticisms.   And the kicker?  Most of us would never treat another human in such a manner as we intuitively know those critical words not only belittle but also hinder growth.   

Shall we keep ourselves small?  

Next time that critical voice whispers, is it possible to question it?

With love,

Rachel
 

Power of the Tiny Trim Tab

Airplanes and ocean liners have rudders on the back of their engines which enable the vessel to change directions. However, should those rudders try to change direction on their own, they would break against the force of the wind or water. 

Engineers discovered that if they place a small device, called a trim tab, on the back of the rudder, it can change directions, if only slightly.   The counteractive force created by the small movement of the trim tab is enough to allow the rudder to change directions without breaking. 

This simple trim tab can allow for either a slight - or drastic - change in the direction of the vessel. 

The first time I shared this analogy in class, my trim tab had been a simple smile. 

A weekend filled with disappointment found me stressed and heartbroken.  As I pulled into the grocery store parking lot, I drove past another human, and in that moment for one reason or another, I smiled. The warmth received back melted my tension in that moment. I knew everything would be ok.

It was so simple. A smile. And it changed all my interactions that followed. 

We often feel we need drastic changes in our lives; we overlook the power of a trim tab. 

What might be that trim tab, for you?

With love,
Rachel